


False Hope

by tysturbate



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Coming Out, Ouch, Sad, based somewhat on my life :), brief mentions of homophobia, tyler is me rip me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 19:45:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5598523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tysturbate/pseuds/tysturbate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler falls in love with his best friend and he doesn't know what to do. Things take an unexpected turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	False Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This is based mainly on what I'm going through in life at the moment and I just really needed something to calm me down because I was about to have a mental breakdown over life :) how nice. Feedback is always amazing. If you read this, thanks.

Tyler and Josh had been best friends ever since he was six. They always did everything together. They were _inseparable_. If one of them were in trouble the other was most likely too. Yes, they sometimes got each other in trouble. One time Josh was angry at Tyler’s sister and spit in her drink without her knowing. He discreetly told Tyler this and Tyler being the nice kid he is told his sister. His sister was pissed, she told their mom and her mom was even more pissed. Kelly dropped Josh off at his house that night and then Tyler got punished for his actions. Still, to this day, Tyler brings that up laughing about it.

Tyler didn’t know what was wrong, but he felt _feelings_. He felt _feelings_ for his _best friend_. He didn’t like this, he knew it was wrong. He noticed this when he realized how much he dreamt of a future with this man. He didn’t know why he felt this; after all, he thought he was straight. He never thought about the possibility of him being _gay_ , of him being anything other than straight. It was scary for him. He didn’t know what to do. He started to become distant from his friend. They were now in their teens anyways; he could make excuses for why he couldn’t see Josh.

Tyler did research, he did so much research. He was trying to figure out him, figure out his identity. He never really worried about dating or anything because of school. He was concentrated on his grades; he had to make good grades. He had to fit the criteria of his family’s expectations. His family looked at his as if he was a walking textbook. He knew he had to go to college, it was a force issue. So out of habit, he never really concentrated on the dating field. It was drama anyways.

It was a downward spiral mentally to him while he was trying to adjust to the fact that he was, in fact, gay. He didn’t know how he felt about it; maybe this would help him out. Maybe this was something he was going to regret figuring out. He was scared to tell his best friend about this though; he knew that Josh would leave him if he were to figure out. Josh wouldn’t accept him most likely, they were Christians, being _gay_ was a _sin_. He was scared, he didn’t believe that _God hated gays_ ; he didn’t think that he was going to go to hell for being gay. But, he didn’t completely know his best friend’s, Josh’s, views on homosexuality. He wanted confess his feelings for Josh but he knew he couldn’t.  Josh wasn’t _single_ nor was he _gay_. He was as straight as a wooden ruler, he had a girlfriend.

Josh was incredibly handsome, it was no surprise to Tyler that he’d have a girlfriend. She was gorgeous. He was happy for his best friend and he was going to be there for him throughout his relationship. Tyler only wanted Josh to be happy. Even though Tyler was fairly distant from Josh now and they still talked, it hurt Josh. Josh wanted his _best friend_ to hang out with him again, he wanted to be able the talk to him and see him like always. He missed staying up late at night, playing video games with Tyler. Tyler missed it too, but he was _scared_ to stay at his house, he was _scared_ Josh would figure out, he was _scared_ Josh would leave him. He hated receiving texts from Josh like, _“our friendship is going down the drain.”_ Those nights would usually end up with him having a panic attack and crying. He didn’t know what better to do in his situation. He has heard Josh say homophobic slurs right in front of him, he’d justify it with _he just wasn’t educated on homosexuality, its **fine**_.

One night Tyler received a text from Josh, _“can you please come over? I really want to talk to you.”_ Tyler panicked, he was _scared_ , maybe you could even say _petrified_ about what he’d need that would sound so urgent. This would be the first time he went to his friend’s house alone in months. Tyler of course had other friends that he would hang out with, but he knew they were more accepting about this. He felt like he was going to puke. He replied about five minutes later saying, _“yeah, I’ll be there in a few.”_ Tyler knew he couldn’t back out of whatever was to come next now.

Tyler told his mom he was going to Josh’s real quick and gave her a hug, he then left. Tyler was shaking, his palms were sweaty, he felt like he was about to cry. He didn’t expect this night to turn like this so quickly. In no time he was at Josh’s front door, he felt like he was going to die. He couldn’t turn and run now, he couldn’t hide. He finally built up what little courage he had and knocked on the door. He heard feet scattering on the floor and then Josh opened the door. Tyler looked at him and got lost in his eyes for a moment. “So uh, you coming in?”

Josh was standing in his room; Tyler was on his bed, waiting for him to say something. It was completely silent; no one other than Josh was home. Tyler considered making a run for it or jumping out Josh’s window until his thoughts of escape were interrupted. “What’s wrong Ty? Why- are you okay?” Tyler looked up at him, still shaking, “yeah, just kind of cold I guess.” Josh shook his head and sat down next to Tyler, “you don’t have to lie to me, and you know you can tell me what’s wrong. You barely even hang out with me anymore Ty. Is it because of De-” Tyler interrupted him, “no, no. I- I am okay, I don’t know.” Tyler’s words were getting as jumbled up just as his thoughts were. Tyler was shaking so much. “Tyler, Tyler. Hey, look at me. You’re shaking uncontrollably and I know it’s not because you’re cold.“ He grabbed Tyler’s shoulders and turned him to face him.

“Ty, please tell me what’s wrong, please tell me what I did.” Josh looked at Tyler directly in the eyes. Tyler couldn’t hold it together anymore, he broke. He started to cry, He cried so much. Josh pulled him into a hug and started to rub his back and whisper little encouragements,”hey, hey. Breathe Ty. Breathe. It’s going to be okay.” “No it’s not! No it’s not.” Tyler was shaking and crying so hard, it was hurting his head. “Ty, Ty. Breathe with me. Let’s breathe together, c’mon.” Josh lifted his head and cradled his face, “breathe in with me. Breathe out.” They did this till Tyler calmed down some.

“Now, what’s not going to be okay?” Josh was hurt seeing his friend like this, he was torn. “I- I can’t tell- you though. You’re going- going to hate me” Tyler said while hiccupping. He started to cry again, he knew he was cornered. He was going to have to tell him. He was going to have to tell him everything. He knew that everything _wasn’t_ _going to be okay_. Josh sadly smiled at his friend “I couldn’t hate you over anything, I love you.” It was like a plant of false hope in his brain. Tyler’s chest felt so tight, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Josh, please, _please_ don’t hate me. Please don’t.” Tyler kept repeating this over and over again to Josh. “Why would I hate you?” Josh smiled lightly at his friend; he wasn’t expecting the next thing to come out of Tyler’s mouth. “Josh, _I’m- I’m gay_.” Josh’s whole world froze. It felt like his soul left his body, he looked completely out of it. Tyler was crying; he was in hysterics. He took the opportunity to finally spill out his feelings too, he might as well tell him everything. “I- I also have a really big crush on you. Please don’t hate me Jo-“ Josh cut him off abruptly. “ _Leave._ ” Those words hit Tyler like a train. He knew that his worst nightmare was happening; he knew he should’ve kept his mouth shut. “Wha-“ “I said _leave_.” Tyler felt like he was ready for Josh to just kill him for him. Tyler got up quickly, “I- I’m-“ Tyler started. “No. Leave.” Josh wouldn’t even look at him.

Tyler ran out of the house, he cried so hard. Right when he got out, he threw up everything he ate for dinner that night. He started walking home. He received a text from someone, hoping it was Josh. “ _What’s up?”_  It wasn’t from Josh; of course not. He ignored the message from one of his friends and walked home.

When he got home, his mom instantly ran up to him, concerned why her son was crying. He dismissed her and headed up to his room. He never expected that night to turn out the way it did. _It was like a plant of false hope._ Josh planted the false hope, leaving Tyler broken. Tyler cried to sleep that night. He didn’t know what he was going to do after this. He just lost his _best friend_.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm@suffering and ouch.


End file.
